As life continues, we realize that there are more things added to our daily agendas and virtual to-do lists. Times and dates are beginning to fill like they are overflowing. Sometimes it feels like there is not enough time in the world for what we have to do. With juggling relationships, work, family, friends, and our well-being, life can quickly become overwhelming.

We feel obligated to make sure we are able to balance all aspects of our lives when in reality there is no real and healthy balance. We find ourselves saying “yes” as a way to please others or to just get things over with. We often don’t consider ourselves at the moment.

Work has piled you with multiple projects due back-to-back. Your friends are constantly trying to get you out of the house on days when you just want to relax. Your partner is beginning to ask for more out of you. The only answer you find yourself saying is yes because you want to “keep the peace.” Well, honey, I’m here to tell you this is not keeping the peace. 

While you are pleasing others, you are detracting from your own well-being. It’s time to set some boundaries. As women, we have a lot of roles and very little time in the day. So, it is okay to say no without having to give some long and drawn-out explanation of why.

Boundaries allow us to express to a person our limits and what is acceptable in how someone treats or interacts with us.

Setting boundaries for myself was one of the greatest lessons I could learn as a mother.

There are simply days when I don’t feel up to anything and just want to relax. There are days that something unexpected has come up because let’s be real, that happens in parenthood. The point is I began to use “no” more in my vocabulary without having to give a long explanation of why. 

Learning how to communicate your boundaries effectively and respectfully is beneficial when wanting to set them. Remember the saying, it’s not about what you say, but how you say it? Well, that goes for this situation. When it comes to relationships, setting boundaries is not a problem. Set them with mindfulness. Focus on your tone and delivery as well as the outcome you are expecting. Remember to stay firm in what you are saying.

How To Set Boundaries:

1. Consider setting boundaries early on. Typically, many of us will wait to express our boundaries later on in our relationship with someone until they have done something. If both parties have value for each other, it is important to try to set those boundaries earlier before conflict can occur.
2. Be Consistent. You have set boundaries for a certain reason. It is okay if some changes here and there. But try not to continuously modify your boundaries to solely please someone else.
3. Reflect. Take time to think about why you are setting boundaries with someone. Think about what you will say and how you will say it. Consider the best way that person will receive what you are expressing. 
4. Finally, learn to say no. Do not focus on always trying to please. If you are not comfortable or not interested in someone or something, learn to say no and move forward. 

These are just a few steps that could help you begin to set boundaries for yourself. Keep in mind what supports you versus what interrupts your well-being. Set boundaries with intention. Communicate your boundaries with the people that are in your life. 

Types of Boundaries:

1. Physical boundaries
2. Emotional boundaries
3. Spiritual boundaries
4. Time boundaries
5. Sexual boundaries
6. Financial and material boundaries

Benefits of setting boundaries:

1. Clarity on who you are and what you want.
2. Gain more confidence.
3. Build stronger communication with those in your life.
4. Avoid burnout.
5. Enhance your mental health and well-being.

Resources To Learn More About Boundaries:

1. Boundaries
2. What Confident Women Do
3. Set Boundaries, Find Peace

Hopefully, this week’s reading helps you to reflect on what boundaries mean to you and how to set them. Until next time, 

Peace, Love, and Happiness.